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Laughs
A bad day at Hallmark - Ever wonder what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day?

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me. 

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?" 

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband. 

H ow could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby? 

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you. 

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia )

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was? 

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay